I was in the kitchen, waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing so I could enjoy another cup before going out to the barn. My back was turned but I heard Arlin’s footsteps as he came through the small hallway between the kitchen and dining room. The footsteps stopped about the same time the screaming began. What the heck? I whirled around to see what all the excitement was about but I saw absolutely nothing. By this time, Arlin was yelling “snake!” as he pointed toward the back wall of the dining room.

I felt the blood suddenly drain out of my entire body. We have seen some REALLY nasty Water Moccasins on the property over the years but what in the world am I going to do with one in the dining room? How in the world did it get into the house? Oh my gosh! Where is my cat? A million thoughts of tragedy hit me broadside within just a few short seconds in time. A Water Moccasin in the dining room is really serious!

I ran toward the dining room but it seemed I was in slow motion as I quickly tried to mentally assess the situation and thought of steps involved to safely remove a Water Moccasin from the house without being bitten and without causing damage to the flooring or the walls of the dining room.

As I rounded the corner of the entry into the dining room, I instantly saw a fairly small, blue-striped Garter Snake scrambling like wildfire to get away from the 6’4” shadow of my husband hovering above it. The poor little thing wasn’t getting much traction on the marble floor despite its best efforts to slither away quickly. Suffice it to say Arlin hates snakes of any size, shape or color even if it is not a threat to life. He fearlessly tackles everything that comes his way and is calm and logical as long as it does not involve a snake. Then all bets are off.

I will be honest. I have wanted to replace the flooring in the dining room for a long time. For a few seconds I honestly thought about screaming and running so Arlin would shoot the snake in order to speed up getting the new marble flooring. He hates snakes so badly that it would not have taken much to convince him to eliminate the snake immediately. Instead, I began to laugh. I honestly tried to contain the laughter but that only made me laugh harder. I did the one and only thing I could think of to safely remove the snake – I picked it up and prepared to take it outdoors. Arlin left the room looking pretty pale when I reached down to scoop up the innocent little Garter Snake. I released it into the back yard near the fireplace wood and wished it a safe journey home plus thanked it for a great laugh. The new dining room flooring can wait.